PatternNerd started for me with a Vision.
About 10 years ago I was at a point where a number of things worried me. One of my biggest worries was my eyesight.
I've worked in graphic design for around 30 years and my eyesight had deteriorated to the point where I needed bifocals. However, I found that I was unable to adapt to them. My work required me to change the distance I'm was focusing on regularly (near to far) and unless I moved my neck instead of my eyes the bifocals caused everything to spin.
I couldn't make it work for me. I worked 8 hours at a small local newspaper and then came home and worked on my own home-based businesses. I was in front of a computer too many hours in a day and I wasn't getting enough sleep. Moving my head that way was not natural to me, it hurt and I often forgot to move my neck until I darted my eyes to the side and everything went sideways. I was sick for about a month before I gave up.
For quite awhile, I was pretty depressed. I knew I had to do something because my ability to earn a living depended on my eyesight. I didn't see any way out, so I decided to look for different ideas.
The Internet of course! But watch out for the crazy, there is so much of it that it can be hard to tell the difference between it and the truth. Gotta say though … some of the crazy is kinda fun to watch. Also, I hadn't ever tried some of it so I thought I'd give some of the fun "crazy" stuff a try.
What does it hurt to try?
When I was trying to decide on what to do I came across groups that talked about manifestation and wishes. From what I read the first rule was you had to "really, truly" believe … which can be tough when you don't. However, I'm an old gamer from high school so that's actually pretty easy. I role-played, pretending to be a version of myself that believed in all the new-age stuff … and I made my wishes.
My first wish was for better eyesight … and I got what I asked for.
My vision certainly isn't perfect but it's definitely better. I think the act of making a Wish and believing it for a little while opened my mind to the possibility that I could find a way. This meant I actually tried looking for another way. I followed my desire with research and I found something that helped me.
I came across the Bates Method of vision therapy and decided to give it a try. Please note, this isn't the fun stuff I was referring to, but some people definitely think it's crazy.
I started reading and going through the exercises, but I'm not great at following instructions. I try, but I don't think I look at things the same as most people (at least those I've met). What this means is I didn't exactly follow their method.
To my surprise the vision therapy worked for me. My vision isn't perfect but it is much better than it was. After 30+ years of a restricted drivers license it's now unrestricted. I use glasses for extended reading, but not if I'm only reading a few pages. I can also read signs in the distance without issue now … well at least usually (damn you, pollen).
Getting glasses is a lot less effort than vision therapy. I also am unconvinced vision therapy would work for everyone.
I think it worked for me because:
Certainly not proof that Wishes work, but I got what I asked for so it's still a fun enough excuse to role-play beliefs a bit more.
That last point is where PatternNerd comes into it. I've come to suspect I have a couple visual issues. The closest description I've found to it online is visual noise or visual snow. I became more aware of it as I was going through the visual therapy exercises, but I know I've always seen it. I started to notice certain aspects to the visual noise and came to recognize there were patterns to it and the way it moved.
I thought I might be able to recreate some of it, but it's complex and I knew it would take some real work. I needed to decide if it was worth it. This bring me another thing I tried out when I had no idea what to do …
I asked for a Vision.
I had been washing my face at the time and turned around and picked up a towel and was drying my face as I contemplated what this meant to me and what I really wanted answered. Once I had my ideas on this firmly in my mind I looked up from the towel.
Deep in thought and looking at nothing my eyes had become very unfocused and as I looked up my eyes where in just the right position to see an illusion of myself with only one eye in the mirror on the wall.
Seeing this in the mirror, I thought … damn that was fast. I gotta say as far as symbology it works for a vision. So okay, the game continues. I decided to go ahead and explore the patterns I was seeing.
This 'Vision' also answered a few questions I had about visual perception. This single eye illusion is similar illusion to another I've seen written about where you converge/diverge you eyes until you see three eyes. I have not seen anything written about a single eye illusion though. If you have, please comment with a link below.
The inside of my eyes.
I see floaters, white blood cells, veins and a number of other things. I know other people can see these types of things too. But, I just think I've had more trouble ignoring it than most people. Once I became aware of it though I found it easier to ignore when I wanted to. Some of the things I see I can identify and others I can't. I don't see them all under the same conditions. It's rather confusing, but I've started to recognize patterns to it.
There are also patterns to the way it moves. The movement has aspects of geometry to it and I find similar patterns within some sacred geometry artwork I've seen.
I find perception to be a fascinating subject and decided that posting online might be a good way to meet others that have had unusual "Visions." To me this isn't about art, it's more like a fun puzzle it's a topic I find interesting and I enjoy learning more about it. If you've experienced any interesting visual quirks, I'd love to hear about them you can message me on Facebook.
I don't write much so let me know if you found this interesting or not. If you've had any similar experiences or "visions" I'd love to hear about them as well.